


I Accidentally Summoned Hecate's and Hades' Revenge on the Gods

by The_Writing_Potato



Category: Ancient Greek Religion & Lore
Genre: I probably should have slept, Jeff is a mood, Language, Lesbian, Multi, Pansexual, References to Ancient Greek Religion & Lore, Smite the Bitch, THAT GOOD GAY SHIT, non-binary
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-17 15:48:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29102811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Writing_Potato/pseuds/The_Writing_Potato
Summary: When Kai/Kaia thinks she's had enough she comes across a summoning spell and tries it just for the hell of it. Somewhere along the lines, it goes wrong, and instead of summoning some creature who will help her solve her problems, she comes across Jeff, A being created by Hades and Hecate to spite the rest of the gods. Jeff is now forced into the mortal realm with no plan of escape and shows his irritation, he liked his nap, it was nice.  However, he does long for adventure and alife away from watching the gods to find ways to inconvenience them. Welcome to the adventures of a non-binary trans-dimensional god (?) and a done-with-life Lesbian. Enjoy.





	I Accidentally Summoned Hecate's and Hades' Revenge on the Gods

(A.N. Bear with me, I intend to make this into a book eventually and as I go through and make edits and fix my possibly atrocious grammar I'll update chapters. Also, enjoy the inconsistency of updates, I'm sorry in advance lol. )

~

Most people wouldn’t summon an unknown being into existence for no reason, and I didn’t. I have a reason, just not a great one. I want to avoid my problems and that just seemed like the most reasonable solution. Why work on fixing my mental instability when I can go be gay with a confused and slightly homicidal being. Jeff is a great being; my dude is non-beany and an absolute riot. They were rather mad when I initially summoned them, supposedly they were supposed to be awoken by some great warrior who was to fight them to the death over the survival of the world. I’d be mad too if someone woke me from my thousand-year nap, but it is what it is.  
For the first week Jeff refused to leave my kitchen, they sat on the counter and scowled at me, reminded me of my last ex. Sat there and watched me. Kind of awkward but manageable. I tried to offer a couch for more comfort, but they stared at me like I was going to ruin their next nap if they moved. They’ve been here for about two weeks now and are a little more willing to move, but anytime they found me watching they stared back menacingly. I don’t know why they haven't just killed me or zapped themself back to a napping void, but I know I would have smitten the idiot who woke me.  
Eventually, they finally started trying the food I made and became a quick fan of ramen noodles. Often, I’d come home from work or college and find them messing with the dials on the stove, playing with the faucet, or trying to cook ramen. I’ve tried to show them how to cook it, but they blow the flames out every time the stove lights. I have an electric hot plate in my amazon cart I just can’t afford it quite yet, I felt like I had to get them something to make up for my interrupting of the nap. It’s just polite after all, I also spent many nights spiraling into a mess about how I may have just doomed this poor creature to humanity and they’re afraid of fire.  
I climbed up the staircase to my third-floor apartment and kicked open the door to find them in a staring match with my cat. A nice change from playing with the stove. Jeff raised his hand, and the tickling of electricity filled the room.  
“Jeff if you smite Lucifer, I swear I will smite you,” I stated calmly as I threw my bags on the floor and collapsed.  
“Smiting this creature will get me back home?” They said with a spark of hope.  
“No, I will bind you to my bloodline for a few million years,” I mumbled into the carpet. Not that it would even matter, I’m not having kids and I'm the last kid of my bloodline… that I know if.  
I heard a grumble of submission and the electric tickle faded from the air. I looked up and dropped my chin on the floor so I could look at him. Lucifer was purring and rubbing against his leg. Traitor. Jeff patted Lucifer’s head and looked to me, “Why are current creatures so docile? Are they plotting mankind’s removal as my mother and Hades wished?”  
Lucifer leapt into Jeff’s lap and curled for a nap.  
I sighed and sat up, “Jeff, my dude, that’s just a small cat. It’s been domesticated so it lives inside without wreaking too much havoc. He’s still a bastard, but not a bad cat.”  
“Bastard?” They questioned.  
“It’s an insult.”  
“Then you’re a bastard.”  
“Oh, I know.”  
“I am confused, if that’s an insult, which you have previously said means it's intended to hurt feelings, then why are you not hurt? Are you not of this world too?”  
“Sadly, I am of this world, I'm just a mentally unstable lesbian living in a shitty world. You can’t hurt me anymore than my family has and continues to do.”  
“Can I smite them?” They grinned and almost looked like a giddy child.  
“…I want to say yes but I'm going to say no.”  
They scowled and returned to stroking Lucifer’s silky black fur, “Fine.”  
They remained on the counter and watched me from a distance as I made a cup of noodles in the microwave and pulled extensive amounts of homework from my bag. Today is history, a trash class. Jeff curiously peeks over the counter at my growing stack on the floor and the pile catches fire.  
I jump to my feet and scramble for a towel to beat out the flame, “Jeff! No!” The microwave beeped in the background, but I ignored it, caring more for the papers I’d love to let burn.  
The fire goes out and my papers and books seem unharmed, “I could feel the hatred building as you put stuff in the pile, you said I can’t smite people, why not paper?” They cross their arms and glared at me trying to hide a smirk.  
I rubbed my temples, “Because that may be the source of my stress and part of the reason I summoned you, but I still need it.” I stared at the pile and sighed. I really don’t want to do that right now.  
“Well then why did you summon me, because this is boring.” They stared inquisitively at me almost as if looking into my soul. Kinda weird if you ask me.  
I tossed the towel onto the counter and plopped on the floor. I summoned you because I wanted to unalive this world fucking sucks.  
“No,” Jeff said adamantly.  
“…No what?” I questioned, there’s no way they can read minds.  
“I can and do sometimes, mainly when you make that scrunched up face. It’s a mixture of self-hatred, defeat, and disgust at your life as well as…” I cut them off not wanting to be called all the way out.  
“Okay! That’s enough of that, I don’t need you to call me out. The internet does that enough.” I scooted over to my bag and pulled out my computer. “You can call other people out on the internet. Here.” I held it out to them, and they grabbed it hesitantly.  
“What do I do with this?” They tapped the screen a few times and I stood to enter my password and pull up Google.  
“Well, what do you want to know? What do you want to see?”  
“I want to know why you won’t let me smite people.” They began typing away and ended up with multiple gaming results.  
“No, the internet won’t tell you that. I won’t let you smite people because you haven’t even met them.”  
Immediately their eyes flicked to the door and back to me, I swore I saw a flash of gold shoot through their brown eyes but who knows, they are from a different dimension after all. At least I think they are.  
“Let me meet them then.” They almost jumped off the counter and Lucifer barely had time to register she was falling but landed on her feet regardless.  
“You want to go outside?” I’m kind of shocked at the answer, they’ve never even wanted to leave my kitchen.  
“Mortal, I have been stuck in a box less extravagant than this since I was made.” Their shoulders sagged a little and their face took on an almost pleading beg.  
“Born?” I attempted to correct  
Disgust took over the pleading beg and they spat back, “Ew, no that’s nasty, Made out of darkness, spite, and a piece of my parents’ soul.”  
“Wait really?” That’s kind of cool, I live off of spite.  
“Foolish mortal no not spite. I did come from darkness and the fusion of two rather small pieces of two souls though.”  
“You can call me Kai or Kaia, not foolish mortal. But am I supposed to know? I was made out of two horny assholes who didn’t want me.”  
“At least they didn’t lock you in a box with gods and goddesses as your only entertainment. They are boring.”  
I looked at the door and then to my kitchen and mumbled, “I think we both need therapy.”  
“That’s the thing where you talk to a stranger to fix all your problems?” They responded with a rather excited tone.  
“I... yes. Pretty much.” I sighed in defeat and put my shoes back on and went for Lucifer. He could stand to go outside too; besides, I want to cuddle him.  
As I gathered my bag with water and snacks and an extra jacket Jeff stood by the door jingling the lock. Once I had finished grabbing stuff and mentally convincing myself to go outside, I stood and turned to see a shorter not-Jeff looking back at me.  
“Umm… what?” I tried to form a coherent sentence, but I ended up just muttering and making a series of weird noises.  
“I shift into the form you see most fit, why is this the form you desire right now? Is there some comforting aspect about them?” Their head tilted and long blonde hair swung to the side.  
I felt myself turning red and tripped over my words, “I... no… I just… she isn’t a form I desire…” I took a deep breath and started again, “She’s just a friend, please pick a different form?”  
“Fine. But who? If I cannot be someone you know then who shall I be?” They returned to a formal stance with their arms crossed in front of them.  
“Why don’t you replicate this drawing somewhat. They’re a fictional character I created so no one really knows them yet, and I don’t think anyone has seen the drawing. Also, if I am taking you outside then you have to pretend that you are from earth and this dimension. And absolutely no smiting! None whatsoever!” I emphasized my point hoping to have just a normal walk.


End file.
